On February 6, my son jumped into my car after
moving some papers I left on the front seat. They were face down but he read
through the top sheet and exclaimed, “Does this say vaginas!!” in an amused but
incredulous tone. He flipped it over to read the meme I had produced for
National Stop FGM Day. It states, “Vaginas are not the problem. Gender-based
violence is.”
We were on our way to the grocery store since I
wanted to purchase some groceries for him at his new place, a house he now
rents a room in. He works full-time in an assisted living community in order to
support himself and has recently learned that JOB is an acronym for Just Over
Broke. He moved out of my home in order to be independent which is a great way
to develop an appreciation for one’s parents and all they do. Soon after, he
related this to me by saying, “I didn’t realize that responsibility was a
plural term. You’re always told that you have to ‘be responsible’ but it really
means RESPONSIBILITIES.” I am biased to
feel this is an eloquent and insightful statement, I’m sure.
I do think
that he and I manage to have some really good conversations on a variety of
topics but it became clear rather quickly that female genital mutilation wasn’t
going to be one of them. This isn’t an
easy subject to broach with a young man or with anyone else for that matter. I
think this is what makes FGM such a taboo topic. Nobody really wants to confirm
its existence but I went on to explain to him the significance of the meme
which was part of an assignment for an activist writing class. Appropriately,
the date of completion happened to fall on February 6th, National
Stop FGM Day. He clammed up pretty quickly and I felt he may have been shooting
a small prayer to heaven, “Please don’t let her talk about this with me!” So we
didn’t. I like to think that I influence him without having to shove
information down his throat. I also feel this way about my friends and family
on Face book and I didn’t share my creation there.
Truthfully, even I don’t want to acknowledge the
existence of a cultural tradition that involves removing major parts of the
female genitalia. I have educated myself because it is important to be aware
and informed of even the most horrifying evils in this world. I can’t make
everyone else do the same but I can attempt to start a conversation. Judging by
the lack of comments on the links about FGM I did share on my personal FB page
that day, I can deduce that I probably ruined more than one person’s day. At least they didn't have their genitals surgically removed so hopefully some were grateful for that. I know I am. It is discouraging to realize all the people
I know would rather turn a blind eye but I can also empathize.
I once saw a
YouTube video of a young girl, around age 8, who had presumably just undergone
the traumatic experience of having her most trusted and loved female guardians
hold her down and butcher the most private part of her physical being. The
adults were retreating at the edges of the scene and she was pulling a blanket
around herself, grasping its security as if it could offer her some protection
from what was already done. Nothing can erase the memory of the look in her
scared brown eyes, so like my own daughter’s. So hurt and alone, just a tiny
soul with no understanding beyond that betrayal, I wanted to comfort her so
badly. She is why I have the urge to scream at these women who are doing this
to their very own daughters even as I know they are only doing what they
believe is right. She gives me the courage to bear the pain of knowing her
existence, acknowledging her pain, helping her to save the next generation
through education. She gives me the courage to try change the world just as if
she was my own daughter. I will never forsake her for the comfort of ignorance.
